Category Archives for "Exercises"

Negotiating Changes in Relationships

People need to be able to change and grow in relationships for the relationships to remain alive and vital. (See weekly quotes: Transitions Require Resilience; Resilience Requires Transitions) People also need to be able to initiate and ask for changes for their relationships for those relationships to remain alive and vital.  (Which this week’s upcoming […]

Conversations Using “I Am I” and “You Are You”

Deepening our capacities for theory of mind – the awareness that I am I, and you are you, and that I may be having an emotional experience (or a thought, belief, or plan) that you are not experiencing. We are two different people with two different experiences, and that’s okay – is so essential to […]

A Friend Is Someone Who Knows Your Song

A friend is someone who knows your song and sings it back to you when you have forgotten the words. – passed on to me by Shoshana Alexander The story below illustrates for me how engaged empathy – someone singing our song back to us in moments we need to hear our own truth the […]

Cultivating the Wiser Self

When we’re facing a difficult decision – leaving a job that’s no long in alignment with our values and passions, seeking new possibilities but risking failure, or staying in a job that provides reliable financial security and a rewarding social network but risking dying on the vine in a stultifying inertia… It’s valuable to be […]

Dialogue with the Inner Critic

When we hear too many negative messages about ourselves, from too young an age, for too long of a time, we’re vulnerable to internalizing those voices, hearing themselves inside our own heads, as a well-practiced annoying inner critic. [See the May 2018 e-newsletter “The Most Powerful Derailer of Our Resilience.”) “You’re really pretty inept, you […]

The Roots of Resilience

This month’s posts focus on relational intelligence from within, offering practices to strengthen the inner secure base of resilience that allows you to fully accept, appreciate, and love yourself.  That allows you to engage with the world, take risks, and deal with the bumps and bruises of life more resiliently. The roots of resilience are […]

Carry Love and Appreciation in Your Wallet

When someone sends me a thoughtful appreciation of something I’ve posted, I save it in a “Genuine Appreciations” file and re-read the collected comments from time to time, whenever I need a boost. (A pleasurable way to sustain hygge – the feelings of contentment and ease generated by a sense of acceptance and togetherness with […]

Finding Hygge – the Danish Path to Coziness and Contentment

In the most delightful synchronicity, my local film institute is screening “Finding Hygge” this weekend, a documentary about the Danish way to live well.   Hygge (hyooguh) is variously translated as contentment, cozy togetherness, taking pleasure in soothing things, the absence of annoyance. At the same time, my friend Lynn has gifted me with The […]

Cultivating a Base of Emotional Tranquility

Recent posts have suggested tools of focused processing to help you attend to and make sense of your emotions, to manage and rewire difficult negative emotions, and to use positive emotions to shift the functioning of your brain and to shift your moods and states of being. You can continue using those tools whenever necessary; […]

Cultivating Awe is Awesome for the Brain

As we strengthen our resilience by learning to manage difficult, negative emotions, it’s just as important to amplify the positive emotions that shift our brain functioning out of contraction and reactivity into more openness and receptivity.  We cultivate positive emotions – kindness, compassion, gratitude, awe, delight, not just to feel better but to do better.  […]

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