Loving Like You Mean It

Loving Like You Mean It

As gifted a writer as he is psychotherapist, Dr. Ron Frederick gives us a rare treat in Loving Like You Mean It: clear guidance in navigating the very real challenges of emotional intimacy, expertly engaging the reader in the most relevant and effective practices for recovering true aliveness and wholeness in relationship.

-Linda Graham, MFT, author of Bouncing Back and Resilience


I recommend books to clients all the time; “bibliotherapy” is a highly effective adjunct to any process of personal growth and self-transformation.  [My list of top five recommendations below]

One of the best, just published, is Dr. Ron Frederick’s Loving Like You Mean It: Using Emotional Mindfulness to Transform Your Relationships. Grounded in cutting-edge neuroscience and attachment theory, Loving Like You Mean It offers a proven 4-step approach to use emotional mindfulness to break free from old habits, befriend your emotional experience, and develop new ways of relating:

Step One: Recognize and Name

Step Two: Stop, Drop, and Stay

Step Three: Pause and Reflect

Step Four: Mindfully Relate

Loving Like You Mean It is full of illuminating stories and clear examples of how these steps can lead to deeper intimacy. It takes courage and effort, but the results can be fuller and richer than you can image.

These are the books I recommend again and again, and clients, again and again, are amazed by how well they describe and help change their experience of themselves.

The Dance of Anger: A Woman’s Guide to Changing the Patterns of Intimate Relationships by Harriet Lerner, PhD

Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself by Kristin Neff, PhD

Transitions: Making Sense of Life’s Changes by William Bridges

True Refuge: Finding Peace and Freedom in Your Own Awakened Heart by Tara Brach, PhD

The Upside of Stress: Why Stress is Good for You and How to Get Good at It by Kelly McGonigal, PhD

There may be a magic moment when one of them is the perfect path for you.

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