Relationship Skills
Stretching Across What Separates Us
I’ve known my neighbor’s boys, Robbie and Nico, since they were born. Robbie now 4, Nico now 2. Before the restrictions of sheltering in place for the pandemic, Robbie especially would climb the crape myrtle tree in my front yard, “mow” my lawn with his toy lawn mower, ride his bike down my driveway because […]
Free Guided Practice – Deep Listening Leads to Conscious, Compassionate Connection
Just as resilience is needed now more than ever in these troubled and troubling times, deep listening – honoring, accepting, understanding, empathy, compassion, sometimes forgiveness – is needed now more than ever to create the safety of conscious, compassionate connections that support resilience for ourselves and our communities. This 4-minute guided practice from Resilience 2.0 […]
A Radical Way to Practice Compassion
Tara Brach, one of the most beloved meditation teachers in the world, has just released her newest book Radical Compassion: Learning to Love Yourself and the World with the Practice of RAIN. It’s beautifully written and immensely helpful. (See adapted exercise in RAIN below) And now Tara is offering a Radical Compassion Challenge through Sounds […]
Applying R.A.I.N. (Recognize, Allow, Investigate, Nurture) When Blaming Others
When client after client comes into my office sharing – exclaiming – the transformative benefit they have received from Tara Brach’s practice of R.A.I.N. (see below) I pay attention and listen up. Tara, of course, a clinical psychologist herself and one of the most beloved meditation teachers of our age, is one of anybody’s favorite […]
Creating the Circle of Support You Need – Anytime You Need It
I really experienced the value of the exercise below, Creating a Circle of Support, at a time when I needed it the most. Ten years ago I chose to have Lasik eye surgery to correct lifelong near-sightedness and astigmatism. The operation was risky, so I went into the operation with understandable anxiety. I had asked […]
Make Sure Good Friends Are Near
Back in my folk dance days, I loved dancing with friends to this song: We live out our lives, they say all alone, From the day we arrive till it’s time to go home. And it’s only just lately I’ve come to accept The grace I’ve been given in the company I’ve kept. As my […]
The Role of Kvetching/Complaining in Resilience
After peaceful, playful travel over the winter holidays, I returned home to a previously (and naively) scheduled complete electrical rewiring of my home. Necessary and timely, but I did not foresee the level of noise, dust, internet disconnections and general chaos and disruption for a full week. Home with the crew to make the many […]
Holding the Messes of Life with Ease and Balance
As we learned in this interview with Michelle Gale, connecting with others in friendship and community helps us recover the emotional equilibrium that supports our resilience. Here’s an exercise from Resilience that deepens that connection, and thus helps us experience and claim our own resilience. Exercise: Deep Listening to Develop Resilience The most basic […]
Shift Your State and Re-connect – with Your Child, with Anyone
As we learned in this interview with Laura Markham, parents need to be able to shift their own inner states of reactivity in order to re-connect and empathize with their child’s (or anyone’s) emotional reactivity. Here’s a practice to help you shift your state from Resilience. Letting Go of Reactive Thought Patterns and Emotional Reactivity […]
Noticing Shifts in Patterns of Response
I like to be liked. I appreciate being noticed in pleasant, positive ways, as most of us do. I can notice a quick cascade of very unpleasant feelings and thoughts if I feel dissed or feel unsure if I’ve been dissed. Our deepening mindful awareness allows us to notice those inner unsettling reactions with less […]