Relationships and Resilience

Tag Archives for " Relationships and Resilience "

Setting Limits and Boundaries

Setting limits and boundaries is an essential skill of relational intelligence.  You need to be able to trust that you can protect yourself from abuse or unfair treatment, regardless of the other person’s reactions or threats to connection, in order to stay safely engaged with another person.  Otherwise you risk becoming a doormat, too quickly […]

Riding the Waves in Relationships

This month’s posts on relational intelligence have explored skills necessary to ride the waves in relationship so that we can better ride the waves in our lives.  This week’s quotes explore the necessity – and the challenges – of that dance. Relationship is an art.  The dream that two people create is more difficult to […]

True Generosity

True Generosity

In the act of giving lies the expression of my aliveness. – Erich Fromm Thousand of candles can be lighted from a single candle, and the life of the candle will not be shortened.  Happiness never decreases by being shared. – Buddha We make a living by what we get, but we make a life […]

Ah, the comfort, the inexpressible comfort

(These words of wisdom from 19th century British novelist Dinah Craik express the compassionate companionship explored in last week’s post on resourcing with people as a key factor supporting post-traumatic growth.  May you experience such support in any of your own recovering resilience.) Ah, the comfort, The inexpressible comfort Of feeling safe with a person. […]

Weekly Quotes 2016

Courage Perserverance

1-4-16 Weekly Quotes: New Year’s Resolutions That Will Make You Happier (In a rare reversal (the resources posted on Christmas Eve and New Year’s Eve were actually more like quotes), this week’s quotes are actually a resource post from my colleague Christine Carter, posted through the Greater Good Science Center at U.C. Berkeley. Good wisdom, […]

Take Time to Be Kind


Kindness is more important than wisdom, and the recognition of that is the beginning of wisdom. – Theodore Rubin The very afternoon I was writing last week’s post on Lost and Found I got distracted and left my debit card in the ATM machine near my office. I realized my mistake by the time I […]

Lost and Found

I temporarily misplaced my paper calendar last week. Panic ensued! No back-up calendar on my phone or computer. No way of knowing what appointments I had scheduled the next day or next week or ever. I know I’ve written a book on resilience, but that doesn’t mean I don’t still have my own learning curve […]

Post-Traumatic Growth Applied

Creating a Circle of Support We may seek refuge among good friends, people we can trust to not judge or disdain us when we become emotionally unglued or our thinking becomes unhinged: people who can simply be with us until we regroup and are ready to face the world again. These are people whose own […]

Elizabeth Gilbert on Tribal Shame

(Elizabeth Gilbert, author of Eat, Pray, Love has written a long but right-on blog about Tribal Shame. She’s basing this post on the teachings of Dr. Mario Martinez; I’ve heard the Sounds True interview of him and Tami Simon that she references. I have taught so much about rewiring toxic shame; it’s terrific to have […]

How to Help a Narcissist to Forgive

(This post on narcissism and forgiveness was posted last week by the Greater Good Science Center at U.C. Berkeley. Click here for original post. Doing the research to write the article taught me a lot; forgiveness is not always easy. Yet I experienced a moment of being forgiven just a few days ago that taught […]

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